


The fourth day of Christmas

by Shaladaze



Series: The 12 days of Christmas [4]
Category: Jormungand (Manga)
Genre: Christmas Sweaters, One Shot, One Shot Collection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:07:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21822655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shaladaze/pseuds/Shaladaze
Summary: Prompt: Ugly sweaters
Series: The 12 days of Christmas [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1568737
Kudos: 14





	The fourth day of Christmas

It takes a second glance and a very long stare before Jonah can even begin to understand what he’s seeing. He had been sitting down at the table enjoying breakfast when Lutz had pranced in with the ugliest things the teen had ever seen in his life plastered all over his body.

On top of his head was half a man in a red suit, it’s beard was covered in candy and glitter, the sparkling red and green flakes falling every time the blonde moved. It was also wearing a ridiculous hat to match the beard, making it look more like one piece. He was wearing what he thinks might be a long sleeve sweater. It had a 3D fireplace decorated with socks, candy, more glitter, small flashing lights decorating the whole thing, and even more glitter than his mind could comprehend. His pants looked to be 3 sizes too small, hunter green, glittery and absolutely covered in blinking lights. Jonah wasn’t even sure where to begin with the shoes, also covered in green and red glitter. The toe was curled, it shouldn’t even fit.

He could hear the audible silence as his team stared from behind him, it was the longest pause he had ever been in.

Then, Lutz straightened his posture, reached one of his long arms up and squeezed the hand of the little man. With a jarring start, it began to wiggle its body back and forth, its arms waving around.

“Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!” Came its crackly voice out of a hidden speaker. The mouth moving in an uncoordinated manner.

Then it started to sing.

“Jingle bells, Jingle bells, Jingle all the way!

Oh what fun it is to ride in a one hour as open sleigh!”

It stops moving abruptly. Glitter now covering the floor under the blondes feet.

Once again silence rang around the room. Jonah couldn’t see any of his team, but he was honestly too shocked to care. His mouth was hanging open, his fork paused halfway to his face. He knew he looked like a gaping fish but he couldn’t muster up any kind of reaction no matter how hard he tried.

Laughter breaks the silence with a sharp arming noise, “HAHA! WHAT THE HELL?!”

The teen blinked, startled by the loud noise. He turns to see R bent in half, his hand on his stomach while the other held the table.

“What haha! th-world are-GHAHA you wearing?!”

The man strikes a pose, “It’s Christmas time!”

Without pause, the door slams open across the room, the blasting sound of music with the insane entrance making for a weird picture when they see Koko strike a crane pose.

Jonah drops his fork, the loud clatter going unheard as he stares at the woman with horror.

“DASHING THROUGH THE SNOW! IN A ONE HORSE OPEN SLEIGH!”

She’s shouting to be heard over the Bluetooth speaker she holds in her hands.

“OVER THE HILLS WE GO!”

Large horns are sticking out of either side of her head, branching out like a trees, and almost the size of her torso.

“LAUGHING ALL THE WAY!”

Hysterical laughter fills the room when she throws her head back in laughter.

Her shirt, sweater, thing is absolutely covered in large, colorful, orbs. Each one is decorated in a different design. Every time she moves the sound of bells rings from her body, her skirt suffers the same fate. There’s also a faint blinking of colored lights hidden somewhere under all of the mess.

“BELLS ON BOPTAILS RING!”

He takes a second look at her face, where a large, red ball sits on her nose, flashing red.

“MAKING SPIRITS BRIGHT!”

She starts stomping towards Lutz, her face trained in a creepy smile, “WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE AND SING A SLEIGHING SONG TONIGHT!”

Apparently, Lutz takes this as a challenge, puffing out his chest and making glitter burst onto the floor, he reaches up as fast as his arms will let him, and squeezes the man on his hats hand aggressively.

“HO! HO! HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS!”

The songs start just off from each other, the slight echo making the song sound disjointed and awful. He notices R leave the room swiftly, out of the corner of his eye.

“OH JINGLE BELLS! JINGLE BELLS!” The blondes scratchy voice shouts to be louder than Koko’s his higher notes cracking in a ridiculous show of how bad of a singer he is.

“JINGLE ALL THE WAY!” Their boss starts shouting the words as well, her voice cracking just as much as Lutz’.

Jonah has to turn his head so he can see both of them at the same time, in some way he regrets the second look at their outfits.

“OH WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE IN THE ONE HORSE OPEN SLEIGH!”

“HEY!” A third voice joins them, just as loud but not as scratchy.

Turning quickly Jonah almost has a heart attack when he sees a walking tree covered in glitter and the orbs that Koko has on. The flashing lights covering every inch that the colorful balls weren’t. On top of the tree is a large star, also flashing different colors. It takes him a moment to recognize that it’s R. 

Valmet snorts milk out of her nose, spraying the white fluid back into her bowl of cereal as she chokes oh both her food and laughter. Lehm, stares at the three of them with a long suffering sigh before pouring himself a drink and downing every last drop, and Ugo, Mao and Tojo are laughing so hard they can’t sit up straight.

Jonah sits quietly, he had no idea what was happening but he was pretty sure he had gone insane at some point.

The last door from across from him opens, and go a split second he’s afraid something more horrifying will come out, but instead of the insanity he had been dreading to see, he watches Wiley walk in with a plain white sweater, with a decorative snowflake design across the chest and arms.

The large man stops dead in his tracks as he takes in the chaos of the room, his face completely blank while absorbing the situation. Without a word, he steps forward until he is within sight of both Lutz and Koko. Who had both moved onto a new song but pause when they see him.

The laughter dies down, everyone waiting for the man’s reaction to everything, the music playing on and making it more awkward as they sit.

Finally, Wiley lifts his arms above his head. Holding the pose for a dramatic minute before whipping around.

The teen feels an all consuming need to shoot himself.

On his back was a large set of horns, traveling along the arms of his shirt. Connected to it is a deer with a giant nose that's red. Underneath that is a small body of the thing, it’s leg lifted up and peeing on a very small tree. The man’s pants, while black in the front, sport a yellow stream flowing down them like a river, raining on top of a bunch of little man in green outfits with pointy ears.

The room bursts into laughter once more. They all seem to lose their collective minds over the situation as Lutz actually takes a knee while laughing. Jonah for his part can’t help the smile that crosses his face. He still wasn’t sure what was happening, but they were having fun. He turns back to his food to better ignore the eye sores behind him, listening as they start some kind of singing fight.

**Author's Note:**

> I have to say, I enjoyed writing this.


End file.
